Happy New Year, dear hearts, and welcome to 2024! It is of course that time when our news sources and social feeds are full of remembrances of the year’s big events, notable celebrity passings, and the predictable myriad of suggestions on self-improvement. Join this gym! Eat fewer carbs! Walk more steps! Give more to charity! Be a better human.
I’m all for exercise and generosity of course. But the problem with this “Resolution Mindset” is that it is purely rooted in not-enoughness, which always feels bad. The underlying vibe is that we didn’t measure up last year, we didn’t do enough, we ourselves, just as we are, weren’t enough in some form or fashion, and so we need to do better. We can do better. We should do better. What the heck is wrong with us?
Sound familiar? Most of us have been fed this from day one when it comes to New Years and resolutions. I have another idea. Instead of focusing on what we should improve upon, my simple focus turns towards this: What is it that I want? Since I’m the captain of my ship, where exactly would I like to sail? What kinds of things would I like my nest to be feathered with this year?
The Dream Big game is one of my favorites to play, but it takes a little practice to get good at it. And by “good,” I simply mean that you play the game in such a way that it actually lifts your mood. You can feel the excitement of it, and the energy starts to gather momentum. And the simplest tool for getting that going is by completing the sentence, “I want X because….” The because is really REALLY important. More on that later.
This can sound like, “I want to travel because I feel so alive when I am visiting someplace new.” Then stay with it, milk it, keep it going. “I love meeting new people, and trying new foods, and walking around places that I’ve never been. It’s fun to purposely get lost in a foreign place and know that you’re on one big adventure.” Stringing thoughts together like this gets the ball rolling. Can’t you feel it? The momentum builds, and those eager feelings of anticipation start to gather like we know those seeds we’ve planted are about to poke through the ground.
And the topic doesn’t have to be something big like travel. It can be something more immediate like, “I want to feel more relaxed, and take more deep breaths, because I love the feeling of calmness and peace that comes over me when I tend to my body in that way. I feel more at peace when I slow down, and I love that feeling of noticing my surroundings, and settling into this very moment.”
What stops so many of us from Dreaming Big in these ways is that we instead say to ourselves, “I want X but…”. I want to travel, but I can’t afford it. I want to learn to speak French, but I never have the time. I want to make more money, but I’m stuck in this dead-end job.” And those thoughts, common as they are, keep us stuck. Feelings of stuckness breed more stuckness. It ties a horse pulling in one direction to a horse pulling in the opposite direction. This always leaves us feeling crappy. And deflated. Just like those old, familiar New Years Resolutions.
So this year, starting with today, let’s all just Dream Big. I want this because. And I want THIS because. And this and that and all of it! The world is your oyster, dear hearts. And the secret to making the supportive evidence show up even more abundantly is rooted in your ability to play the dreaming game. Have fun with it. Give yourself permission to really go for it. Since you can be, do, or have anything at all, what would you like it to be?
I want this, because…