When I was a kid it was my favorite game to play each time I went to visit my grandparents. I’m sure that was partly due to the fact that I knew I would end up with a little money when the game was over. But also because I loved the utter simplicity of it: Grandpa hid the coins throughout his office full of books, polished rocks, and other assorted knickknacks, and I got to find them. The only other factor in the game is that the closer I got to one of the hidden coins, the more grandpa would say, “warmer,” and the further away I ventured, the “colder” my feedback became.
In addition to the joy of finding the money, there was also a sense of empowerment in being subtly in charge of a grown-up’s reactions. If I moved this way, I could make him say this word, while the other direction brought the other word. And I was in charge, which felt really good. Maybe even better than finding the coins.
What I didn’t realize then but I know unequivocally now is that this game is still being played on a moment by moment basis, as long as I’m tuned in enough to hear the feedback. Every single second of my day I’m either moving in the direction of all that I desire - warmer - or I’m moving in the other direction - colder. It’s that simple. And the way I can tell? It’s 100% directly connected with the way I feel in this very moment. When has everything to do with the thoughts I’m thinking, and where I’m currently focused.
For example, if I wake up and read the newspaper, and let my overriding thought become one of worry and fear about the political climate, I instantly feel the tightening in my belly, the clenched jaw, the tension in my brow. I feel bad, tense, and unhappy. All because of what I just focused upon. But if, instead, I remember that politics is only one of many many aspects of my life, and that several of those aspects are going really well. In fact, this one over here feels really good when I think about it, because such and such just happened and now I have this new idea about blah blah blah…
And in that very moment, when I redirected myself back towards the direction of what is WANTED, I began to feel better. My stomach unclenched as I recalled this aspect of my life that makes me proud, or excited, or whatever. I began to get back on my train of “oh yeah - I remember that my life is awesome, and that I have all these things I’m moving towards…” and that always feels good. Warmer warmer!
In the end, mental health is about how we’re doing, how we’re feeling. Which has everything to do with our habits of focus. We are creatures of habit and momentum is real. But by learning to tune into the ongoing hot and cold game, our emotional sensors will lead us in the right direction time and again if we allow.
Keep thinking about what you’re wanting and why. How good it’s going to be when it comes. Those thoughts, and the requisite feelings that follow, are always on the “warmer” side of the equation. And the great news is that we can learn to live nearly always on the warmer side of the equation, with just a little practice, a little tuning in to our feelings, and one big commitment to feeling good.